The Legend of Lobo

Logan’s world is becoming more animated everyday. His toys all have distinct names and personalities, even his dozens of Hot Wheels cars. He always insists on taking a handful to bed with him, and he’s very particular about which ones make the cut. I can’t keep up with all of them, but Logan knows each one by name and considers it a unique individual. Unfortunately, he also knows when a car is missing, and then we have to turn the apartment upside down looking for it. Tonight as we tucked him with kisses and lullabies, he surveyed his little pile of cars and demanded, “Where’s my white Dodge Viper?”

It was a good stalling tactic, but we didn’t fall for it. I told him we’d find the Viper in the morning, and then put Big Teddy in bed with him as a distraction.

Logan shoved the cars toward Teddy and said, “Hold my hand.” He clutched the white fluffy paw, gazed into the bear’s eyes and whispered,

“Teddy, I have toys.”

It was wonderful to see Logan’s imagination bring the bear to life. So many adventures lie ahead!

Well, it had to happen sometime. We knew this day was coming, but none of us were prepared to lose Logan’s scrappy, nappy, raggedy Stankie Blankie.

Since he was a newborn, Logan slept with his soft blue blanket. It started out as light and lovely as springtime, pure baby-blue and soft as a cloud. Ash took Logan’s first real portrait snuggled in the pristine blanket, and I wrapped him in it tenderly each night. When Logan began to move on his own, he tugged the blanket after him. “Brankie” was one of his first words, and he adored his. Sleeping or awake, Logan could always be comforted by Blankie. We took it everywhere with us, and as Logan’s teeth came in Blankie became a chew toy. Soon all four corners were nibbled and frayed. It was permanently dirty, no matter how often we gave Blankie a bath in the washing machine — an agonizing hour for Logan, who always wanted to reclaim it soaking wet and had to be bribed to let it have a short spin in the dryer.

The months went by and Logan gnawed away at his blanket. His object of affection became grimy and worn, and the name “Stankie Blankie” was born and stuck (fortunately Logan never really understood the “Stankie” part). I tried to swap it for an identical new blanket, but after one taste Logan rejected the impostor. I bought three other perfect, new, spotless blue blankets, but none could replace the one true Blankie. No matter how battered, tattered and soiled, Blankie was always beloved. Logan captured the paradox of his delicious, disgusting blanket, calling it “yucky good.”

Over three years, this little scrap of cloth was dragged down stairwells, snagged on bushes, scraped over pavements, and flung out of the stroller. It was forgotten in shopping carts, restaurant booths, carnival rides, and an airplane. I can’t count the times I ran down the street frantically searching for it and found it lying untouched on a busy sidewalk. (My panic was unnecessary because, after all, who would want to pick it up?) No matter how many times we abandoned it, Blankie was always waiting for us, in the elevator, in a friend’s car, or in the hands of a kind cashier or librarian. I often rushed back to Lotus Bloom right after closing time, overjoyed when a teacher unlocked the door with a smile and handed it out. But I blushed with shame each time a good-hearted person had to touch Blankie. After three years of constant use and abuse, it looked more like a wash rag than a blanket. There’s no denying that Blankie had become an embarrassment, and a few months ago Ash and I agreed it was time to do something.

We started very slowly to wean Logan from his blanket by leaving it home when we ran short errands, but it was a half-hearted attempt. Logan still hung on tight at every opportunity and we all relied on it as a comforter and pacifier at Sunday School and Lotus Bloom. And Blankie was so absolutely necessary at bedtime that we never considered giving it up entirely. I just assumed Logan would be sleeping with it when he was fifteen.

Then one Friday we left Blankie at Lotus Bloom again and I didn’t realize until it was too late. Logan passed two miserable, inconsolable nights without his lovie, and I though we’d all lose our minds each time he moaned, “Where’s my Stankie Blankie?” We waited out that eternal weekend only to discover on Monday that no one at Lotus Bloom had seen it. I asked our neighbors and looked everywhere, but it had disappeared. I was shocked. Blankie had been lost many times, and it always reappeared. But this time I had to explain to Logan that Blankie wasn’t coming home.

I was dreading Logan’s continued distress, but a strange thing happened. On Monday night Logan fell asleep quickly and without fuss. For the next week he asked repeatedly for Blankie, but went about his business when it wasn’t forthcoming. He started to nap clutching a stuffed animal, and he spent more time snuggling with me, but mostly he learned to self-soothe.

About two weeks after The Disappearance, our neighbor Chikako unexpectedly showed up at our door with Blankie in a shopping bag. I was overjoyed — the ordeal was over! But Logan was doing so well without Blankie that I decided to keep it tucked away for bit longer, knowing it would be there in case of emergency. It’s been a few weeks now, and Logan asks about it from time to time, but so far we’re still Blankie-free.

It’s been a rough few months with several big losses — the gray car, the baby crib, and now the dear, dirty little blanket. The world Logan has always known is shifting seismically. We made it through the darkest days of missing Blankie, and now Logan’s grief is turning to acceptance. He is growing up quickly and showing us he’s more mature, independent, and resilient than we imagined. We all learned that lesson the hard way, but we’re grateful.

Logan has been sleeping in his crib up to now. We’ve not been motivated to change that because it’s been working out so well. He always stayed once we put him in there; I don’t understand why he didn’t figure out he could easily climb over the railing, but he never did.

As nice as this arrangement has been, it was time to move to a real bed. Logan has been napping during the day in our “big bed” for a while now and he has stated a clear preference for it. So, we finally took the plunge and changed out the crib side for the bed railing, allowing him to get in and out easily.

Although it was the right decision, it’s changed our routine completely. Because he can get out, he does, often several times after we tuck him in. And now he’s started to get up earlier too. He got up early before, but he was happy enough to lounge in his crib until one of us woke up to get him. No longer! Rather than him accommodating to our schedule, now we accomodate to his. Sigh. But still, it’s another milestone in the life of a child that we’re happy to pass. Our little guy is growing up!

Logan has started calling me Janet, which amuses me and annoys Ash (“Tell him you’re Mommy!”). I really don’t care what Logan calls me, but it’s fun to watch his little monkey brain working to figure out the adult universe. He’s still struggling with some spoken language issues, but he understands nearly everything, and has an uncanny ability to read facial and body language.  He’ll see someone talking loudly and say, “He is angry.” I have to watch my expressions around him, because he’ll notice worry or weariness and say, “Please be happy!”  This usually after he’s committed an infraction of some sort.  I want to say, “I’ll be happy if you’ll be good.”

Sadness anywhere catches his attention and commands his sympathy, and he often observes with a sigh, “I’m sad.” He pronounces the word sad as “say-ud” in two-syllables with a twang like Huckleberry Hound’s. It’s sometimes hard not to laugh, but he’s so solemn and sincere in his melancholy that I hold back. I don’t know how he finds emotions in objects like the blender, dishwasher (both angry) or the potty (perplexingly happy). What does he see that I don’t? Last night when I put him to bed he pointed above the door and said, “Janet, the fire alarm is sad.”

An anonymous artist in our neighborhood has been practicing random acts of whimsy.  At the base of many telephone poles he or she has bolted tiny wooden plaques with painted gnomes.  They started appearing last year and we were delighted to find one across the street in front of the chicken house.  Gradually we started seeing more of them, and now there are 3-4 on each block in our little section of Lake Merritt.  Each gnome is unique, with different color pants, shirt and hat.  Sometimes a gnome is accompanied by a second plaque with a spotted mushroom, usually red or yellow.    Logan loves to squat down and inspect these tiny paintings, and they make our neighborhood walks so much fun.   It must look odd to passing drivers to see us circling telephone poles, peering at the ground, but we don’t care.  It’s so exciting when a new gnome appears.

Logan is curious about Halloween this year and is fascinated by witches and pumpkins. All the other spooky creatures are simply “scary bad guys.” I’m sure next year he’ll understand all about ghosts, mummies, and skeletons, but for now I’m enjoying his innocent wonder.

It will be interesting to see how he likes trick-or-treating this time (last year was not a success, alas). I found a pirate costume for him, and he enjoyed posing for Ash in it. Aaarrrh!  He’s been wearing the pirate hat for about a month already, and he’s growing so quickly, and his head is already so big, that I’m worried the hat will be too small by Halloween.  But there’s no fear he’ll outgrow the witch hat he’s also become fond of.

Logan learned about witches from The Wizard of Oz, his latest story obsession (he’s mad about both the illustrated book and the classic Judy Garland movie). The Wicked Witch of the West is the most delightfully Scary Bad Guy ever.  Logan also loves Scarecrow, but his absolute favorites are the munchkin soldiers from the movie. If you don’t remember them, it’s because they’re hidden in the background and completely unremarkable to most viewers. But Logan waits for them to march in formation as the munchkins praise Dorothy and escort her to the yellow brick road. He clamors to watch this short scene over and over, and even dreams about munchkin soldiers. He loves to march himself, stiff-legged and swinging his forearm from the elbow. He marches in earnest around the neighborhood and gets lots of smiles and chuckles from passersby.

He’s been seeing “wicked witches” in Halloween decorations all around town, and he wonders where the munchkins are hiding.  Yesterday we saw a small black dog waiting for its master at the library.  Logan said, “There’s Toto!  But I don’t see Dorfy.” When I asked where he thought she might be, he said matter-of-factly, “She went to Oz.” I love the pirate costume, but I really wish I could make a tiny green and white soldier uniform for our little munchkin.

Logan is crazy about drums. He’s always enjoyed music, but about a year ago he became truly obsessed with drumming. Last Halloween, when he was just developmentally two years old and not able to speak full sentences yet, we decided to try trick-or-treating in our apartment building. Logan wore a cute skeleton costume and Ash and I were looking forward to a fun evening. We knocked first on our neighbor Grace’s door and Logan happily received his candy. But before we turned to go he spotted Grace’s snare drum in the living room.

He shouted “Drum! Drum!” and Grace kindly brought it to him and showed him how to hit it with a drumstick. All that was fine, but then Logan didn’t want to leave.  When we tried to pry him away, he went into a full temper tantrum and we had to take him back home, screaming and kicking. We waited about half an hour for him to calm down and then tried to resume the Halloween fun, but as soon as we got to our door, the tantrum started again. “Drum! Drum!” We stayed home and hoped for better luck next year. The next morning kind, thoughtful Grace gave him the drum, and he adores it to this day.

Last April Lotus Bloom had a fundraiser banquet, and our friend QB was hired to play drums on stage. When we arrived Logan spotted the congas immediately. While other guests were getting seated he ran across the banquet hall, dodged half a dozen tables and vaulted onto the stage, hauling himself in a flash about three feet straight up and over. We were astonished, and I still have no idea how he managed. He happily began pounding on the congas, which were almost as tall as he was. Thankfully QB humored him and let him play for a few minutes. The problems started when the microphones came on and the program began. We simply couldn’t keep Logan from charging back to the drums, and I couldn’t run fast enough to catch him before he scrambled back on stage. I had to climb up myself, snatch my child, apologize, and get him out of the building before the howling started.

We had better luck this month at the Maker Faire, a noisy, jubilant event with a hands-on spirit. Logan had a ball playing the djembe drums, and for nearly an hour we watched in awe as he went to town. Again, we were lucky to find encounter a professional drummer who was patient and encouraging. He urged us to nurture Logan’s talent, and we started to wonder if maybe there’s something more going on than a little boy having fun.

This fall QB has been coming to Lotus Bloom every other Friday to play for the Logan’s class. Last week the congas were set up in the classroom before he arrived. Of course Logan couldn’t resist playing, and he has a very confident hand and a solid sense of rhythm.  I’m often surprised by how good his drumming sounds. When QB came through the door he asked, “Who’s on the drums? I could hear them all the way down the street!  Someone sure has talent.”  He was happy to see it was Logan and encouraged us yet again to keep him drumming. It’s been heart-warming to get so much confirmation of Logan’s ability, as it’s hard to be objective about one’s child. But now it’s becoming clear that our tiny boy has a special love for the drums, and we’ll do our best to get him lessons soon.

Logan’s interest in reading has really skyrocketed lately. We regularly read him books before his sleepy times. He has his own preferences for what he wants to listen to, although lately he’s enjoying If You Give a Moose a Muffin, No Dragons for Tea, and Green Eggs and Ham. Thankfully, Logan is now willing to sit through entire books and he has his favorites parts. There is a part where the dragon sneezes and we do an exaggerated “Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-CHOOOOO!” together. What is especially wonderful is his independent interest in his books…he frequently looks at his books on his own. As book geeks, we are thrilled to see this interest growing in him.

Logan had a great adventure today. We went on a field trip with Lotus Bloom to Little Farm, a beautiful place located up in the hills of Tilden Park, just outside of Oakland. The “farm” is a basically a place with a lot of farm animals: cows, goats, chickens, ducks, pigs, and so on. Logan was a little intimidated by the bigger animals, but soon was able to join in with feeding them. It was a perfect Spring day in the Bay and it was great to take Logan someplace new. I’m certain we’ll be back…

Poor Logan has a bug. Yesterday I took him out to play at the park and he began to get listless. He started to cry on the way home and we noticed that he was hot. I gave him some fever reducer and we got him cooled off. Around midnight he woke up with a fever of about 101. Poor kid was really miserable. We gave him more medicine and Janet called the pediatric number just to get some advice—turns out we didn’t need to worry unless the fever hit around 104-105. His temp went down a couple of degrees and he was able to get back to sleep. He didn’t wake up until around 11am. He was still warm, but not as hot as before. He’s clearly feeling lousy and is only nibbling on his food. Around 1:30 he fell asleep in his chair watching Kung Fu Panda, so I tucked him in his crib.

We’ve been incredibly lucky with his health…this is first time he’s really been sick with anything more than a minor head cold.

Update: Logan woke up the next morning with his fever gone. He was parched and gulped liquids greedily. But it still isn’t a happy morning…his Blankie has gotten disgusting and needed a wash. So, Logan has another hour or so of misery…

Logan had a rough day today. He ate hardly anything and was fussy and tantrum-y. His only real fun time was when Nanako and her friend Sara came over to play. Janet also found a junked guitar for him earlier, and even though it only had two strings left, he absolutely fell in love with it. He strummed it all evening. Still, when it came to bed time, he turned into a demon….he cried and screamed through his bath, which is really unusual for him. He calmed down when I read to him and set him in his crib with little fussing.

Just as I was turning to go, I heard…”Kiss Daddy”. I wasn’t sure if I heard him right, but I gave him a kiss anyway. Then he said it again with a smile: “Kiss Daddy.” It was a beautiful moment because it was the first time he had ever asked for a kiss.

I excitedly told Janet and when she went into his room, he said, “Kiss Mommy.” Then he asked for one last “Kiss Daddy.”

Such a small thing, but so wonderful.

Well, Logan just keeps on growing up somehow. He’s making all the usual advancements, especially with language. His vocabulary has really exploded and he’s regularly using three and four word sentences. His articulation is still pretty poor, so what he’s saying isn’t always clear. But he continues to say things emphatically…Logan simply doesn’t do things by half measures; it’s all or nothing with him.

Another wonderful development is Logan’s newfound joy in books. We’ve read to him forever, but until recently he would rarely sit through one book, and sometimes not even that long. In the last couple of weeks, that has changed entirely. Now he loves being read to, especially at night. It isn’t unusual for him to go through four or five books in a row now. In fact, he’s been doing a lot more cuddling, too. He especially loves to snuggle with Mommy in the comfy chair.

There are a lot of other little things that are new. Like Logan’s ability to drink from a plain cup (preferably filled with Daddy’s re-boot). His two favorite movies are currently My Neighbor Totoro, Toy Story 3, Kung Fu Panda, and Princess and the Frog. Logan can’t get enough Nutella (which he is finally pronouncing correctly) or bongs, his word for Flintstones vitamins. At night he plays a word game with his turtle nightlight…it has two colors available which doubles the stars and moon…Logan will go back and forth between “Two moons!” and “One moon!”…although he always settles on two. Logan is also loving dinosaurs now and will regularly give out a loud and terrifying dino roar.

One of the great benefits of living in the Bay Area is the large number of fun places to take Logan to. Within walking distance we have the Lake, Grant Park, and of course Lotus Bloom. Regular East Bay destinations include Chabot Space and Science Center and Fairyland. We also manage to get into the City (AKA San Francisco) every now and then, usually to hit the awesome Academy of Science. Logan has also had fun at the lovely Piedmont Park and a new place found just today, Frog Park.

In the last 6 weeks or so, Logan has become much more capable in terms of interacting with the world. He is more independent and physically agile. One of the key manifestations of this is his new obsession with slides. He has played on slides for a long time now, but when we visited Texas this last Winter he hit the bottom a slide a little too hard one day, which made him wary of them…until last week. Suddenly he has a passion for slides and is going down them like a pro. Well, not quite pro…he still doesn’t understand the need to lift up his feet, so he gets stuck coming down sometimes. But he has a lot of fun anyway. Logan also passed a small milestone today—he climbed up his first rung ladder. It was only 3 or 4 rungs, but he managed it with no problem at all. Now he’ll probably be looking for them all the time…

Visiting Chabot has also become a semi-regular thing to do with Logan. We love to take him there and he usually has a really fun time. The “Discovery Center” playroom has all kinds of neat toys that he loves to play with. He scampers from room to room and up and down the stairs like he owns the place. When the timing works out right, he gets to watch one of the awesome movies in the big planetarium theater. He’s too young to really understand most of what’s there, but it’s a beautiful location that is fun for the grownups too. It’s definitely an East Bay treasure. If we are still here when he’s older, we’ll be sure to take him one night when they are star-gazing with their big telescopes.

We’ve missed Fairyland since it has limited hours during winter and autumn. It’s open again and we visited this week. Logan was very excited to be there and wanted to see everything. Of course he wanted to go down the Alice in Wonderland slide, which he did at least 10 times. He also especially loved riding the train and visiting with the horse.

Logan’s growing independence and expanding skill set is making adventures with him all the more fun.

Logan’s language skills have really leaped forward this last week. He is speaking in more complex sentences and is using many more verbs. Plurals are also making an appearance—he has added s’s to multiple objects a couple of times, but he isn’t consistent with them yet. One thing Janet and I love is Logan’s new habit of exclaiming “Hi, Mommy/Daddy!” whenever he comes through the front door when he returns from a trip out. Another supercute new thing is adding “-time” to objects and events, like “cookie time!” or “bath time!”. Sometimes the combos are funny…just now Janet said they needed to put some cereal in a bowl and Logan ran into the kitchen saying “Bowl time! Bowl time!” gleefully. And he’s mimicking like crazy, saying almost everything we do. His articulation is still far behind the curve, but the complexity of his language is really taking off.